yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
