Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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