I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I pour the whiskey from now on
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
