Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
