he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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