Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
