Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
