You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
