wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
