her vagine was all disorganized.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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