she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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