Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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