I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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