It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize