Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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