I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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