he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
