talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My feet surprised me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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