i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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