Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
