wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
