and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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