I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
