when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
