Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
