i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Congratulations! We have a period
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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