is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
