Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
