we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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