Kareoke will never be a sober sport
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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