TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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