This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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