You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Randomize
