youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
