So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
