I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
