let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
