I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
