big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
