thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
