This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
