If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
50% drunk capacity currently
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
