wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
