I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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