So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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