Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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