how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
