I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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