Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i drank out of a bidet.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize