We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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