There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
