I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
