dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
