people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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