Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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