I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
