careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
