Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
