I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
