She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
