so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
