Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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