I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
