i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
