Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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